TV: Cowards/Him & Her

Stefan Golaszewski has come onto my radar. Not in a sexual way, like he's spunked on my submarine equipment, but in peripheral vision, "look, here i am, i'm over here" kind of way...

Yes, Stefan Gonefornewskis, once President of that most elite of comedic breeding stables, the Cambridge Footlights, has since ventured into stand-up, delivering 3-star worthy stage monologues about lost loves at Edinburgh, and is one quarter of the comedy troupe Cowards, whose BBC Radio and then BBC4 (formally BBCWhoCares) show is quickly becoming the cultural know-it-all's sketch show of choice ("Oh you haven't seen [insert trendy new comedy show here] yet? Oh how sad for you. I've seen it many a time, in fact I'm having a screening of it this friday evening over herbal tea and handjobs, yes, we're going to project onto a sheet hung between my giant swinging dong and my inflated sense of self-importance...").

But Stefan Goonandkissme's talent for chuckles doesn't stop there. Oh no. It galavants on in style to the medium of writing, as he has been tipped as a "hot young thing" for penning the new talkworthy sitcom Him & Her. A story of two twenty-somethings - aren't we hilarious? - to whom work and intelligent conversation hold about as much worth as a sock to a mermaid, it's all set in one dank flat (we're in a depression don't you know) where poo-jokes pervese sex obsessions and weird neighbours abound, and has been hailed by some as being fresh, original, oddly romantic and, you guessed it fans, "honest". This is what others have thought. But here is what I think:

Him & Her is, to my varied tastes and sensibilities, an almighty turd in the pool of contemporary British comedy. "A fart in my general direction", to quote a certain French soldier. It is one of the least funny, and most self-congratulating and patronising shows that I have seen in some time. It's up there with Horne and Corden, it's sharing a studio flat with Two Pints Of Lager and a packet of crisps, it is really that dire. The characters are unsympathetic, thoroughly dislikeable even (and just because those around them are even more detestable doesn't change that, damn it!), the humour is more suitable to Bottom, and the plots of the episodes so far have been made up of tiresome, recycled relationship beans. Not magic comedy beans. Just beans. Boring, stagnant, cliched, not-even-Heinz, probably that other label, the one that the cheapos get, Branston, that's it, Branston...beans.

In episode one, in which Steve (played by the otherwise likeable Russel Tovey) has to hide from his girlfriend Becky (played most of the time in her knickers, GO'ON THE LADS, by Sarah Solemani) the fact that her sister is being cheated on by his best friend, there is, and I'm not kidding here, a repeated gag that sees Steve complaining to Becky because she has done a particularly pungent number two in his bathroom. That's it! That's about the level it gets to! Shit gags! Need I say more? The gags are quite literally shit!

In the same episode Steve does a penis dance, ponders the logistics of the back-to-front sexual position, and slavers over the idea of watching Becky go at herself with a dildo. Honestly, if that's "honest" comedy then we're all fucked! We might as well just pack it in now, because if that's what "real" twenty-something's are like then evolution has somehow slipped into reverse. Maybe it can't change gears because it's too busy knocking one out over Carol Vorderman, or trying to watch Morse, or some other tired nineties cliche. Written as though its audience were lobotomised and had reverted back to a pre-pubescent state, Him & Her treats the viewer's intellectual capacity with wantan disregard, probably having seen the Inbetweeners and thought "oh, it's all just cock and ball gags, I can do that!". But it can't. The Inbetweeners has, at least, some sort of character growth, whereas the only growth in this lame duck of a show is...oh I can't bring myself to do it.

It gets me riled up. You can see that.

HOWEVER, it does get me wondering, because Stefan Getamoveon occupies this other space in my cultural awareness, as a performer in the aforementioned Cowards, which is actually rather good. There's only been one series as far as I can tell, but the writing is slick and confident and, importantly, funny. It's not full of stock characters and incessant catch-phrases, and it's got a very British sensibility, recognising comedy of the past whilst trying to forge its own new style. Very droll, very dry, very smooth, and ultimately quite niche (your parents wouldn't get it you don't think), but ambitious and different. Of the four actors that make up the central cast, Tim Key is the most recognisable name, having been a cult favourite on the comedy circuit for years with his deadpan and decidedly tickling poetry, but Stefan Goldmininginfaliraki, Tom Basden and Lloyd Wolf are just a competent in their funniness (funniness? I'm running out of steam here, clearly...).

Of anything in the show though, and that includes odd scenes about barristers, strange men in pet shops and four men living in a caravan together, the highlight for me are the songs of Tom Basden. This is my personal favourite:


Short, sweet, and particularly funny, they have more originality and laughs in them than any amount of pube-plucking, arse-scratching, dick-swinging banality that Him & Her could muster.

And there you have it. Stefan Gncjdncnvcjnvinjoijifnwcski, you have been placed precisely on the fence. Spend your time with your mates, not on your own, and good comedy will be more likely. That is my suggestion.

(As an afternote, I would like to point out that this post has, really, nothing to do with Stefan Golaszewski himself, but he is a convenient link between two shows I have seen recently that divided my attention. Stefan, if you're reading this, I've got nothing against you, so don't lampoon me in a satirical comedy way. I've seen Star Stories, I don't think I could face that kind of public send-up... Cheers.)